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How to raise a disciplined and well-mannered child?

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It is a dream and the duty too of every parent to give their child the best possible start in life such that going ahead, he upholds good values and manners in life, maintains respect for all living beings and is able to deal with and manage his problems with confidence.

For this, it is essential that you raise the child with discipline and good manners.
How? Let’s see...

Nurture a healthy relationship with the child
Children model their parents’ behaviour -
If you want your child to exhibit values like honesty, self-control and respect for elders; if you want your child to grow up into a polite, courteous and empathetic human being; if you want your child to understand the boundaries of good and bad behaviour and lead a disciplined life; you need to show these qualities in yourself. When he sees you eat vegetarian food, you do not drink alcohol, you treat your partner with respect, you obey your parents, you are honest in your dealings and loving in your interactions, the child takes note of all your virtues and he learns from you, through simple observation. On the other hand, if you are abusive, controlling, and dominating, this is what your child can imitate.

Get actively involved in your child’s life. Speak to your child everyday and take interest in his activities. Ask him what he did at school? How was his day? What new did he learn today? Encourage him in his projects. Know his friends well. Attend his school functions with great interest, whenever you are invited.

Do not nag. Nagging will only push your child away from you. Rather than getting emotional or over-reacting over trivial matters like ‘sit up straight’, ‘don’t eat too fast’, ‘do this, don’t do that’, etc., emphasize on 3-4 major issues and be strict in those matters such as his focus on studies; practicing good habits such as not lying, not stealing, not eating non-vegetarian food or drinking alcohol; and in their adolescent stage not indulging in girlfriend-boyfriend distractions.

Explain and steer your child in the right direction. It is essential for you to define to your child the fine line between what is the acceptable and unacceptable behaviour from your child. But instead of saying ‘don’t do this, don’t do that’, you can sit with him and very calmly teach him why he should do what he is expected to do and not do what he is told not to do. Explain to him/her the consequence of their ill behaviour and try to get them to understand and agree how it is in their own interest to follow what you say.

Maintain discipline along with affection and support for the child. You play the central role for the emotional well-being of your child. The kind of relationship that the child shares with you right now will go on to affect every relationship that he may have with people, through his life. You are his caretaker and a disciplinarian too, so maintain an equal balance between the two. The kind, loving, and gentle interaction that he has with you today will be projected and reflected in the future interactions he will have with the world tomorrow.

Never be suspicious or doubt your child. Always have a healthy, honest and open culture at home. As a responsible parent, remain silently aware of what he is busy with, but do not curb his freedom. Show confidence and trust in your child.

Create a warm and loving family ethos in your home:
Make your home free of conflicts, arguments and negative influence.
Home life should influence your child in a positive way so much so that it is a safe, comfortable and happy place to live in.
If any issues crop up between you and your child, then win them with love, patience, understanding and care.
Have a practice to apologize and ask for forgiveness whenever anyone gets hurt or offended by you. Your child will effortlessly imbibe this good habit in him.
Never argue or fight with your spouse in front of your children.

Children thrive on praise and encouragement
All too often parents respond to undesirable behaviour, ignoring their positive actions. Make it a point to praise your child as soon as the opportunity arises. Encouraging his good traits such as sharing, being charitable, helping others, his honesty, etc. will groom him into a better human being.

Being a parent or a guardian is not the easiest of jobs, but the advantage lies in how you raise your child. A child who has been adequately nurtured, loved and cared for, remains well-protected from potentially damaging societal influences and it lays the foundation for him to grow into a well-mannered, strong and solid self-disciplined adult. Therefore, raise your child with discipline and good manners.

Want to learn more effective parenting tips ? Read

By: Dada Bhagwan

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